Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I'm Waiting, Not Dating

By: Kristin McLeod

To some of you reading this I may sound archaic and extremely old fashioned. I want you to know and consider that I grew up in the same generation as you. I am in my twenties and have even tried the dating scene once. So, I know what it’s like to date and then to wait (not date), and I believe, from experience that I have chosen the better way, and so can you.

I've heard it said before that love songs today are sung with musician’s lips- but not with real human lives. Today pre- teens, teenagers, and young adults are bombarded with messages telling them they are not okay unless they have that special someone in their lives. It's everywhere... it's on commercials, the internet ("meets singles here"), and sometimes even our own parents and friends feed us this analogy. But look where it's gotten our generation... divorce is rampant.

Actually when most people hear the word marriage, it's like a dirty word. Most of society would prefer common- law or living together than being committed to a lifelong soul mate.

Do you ever wonder why?

I believe it started with dating. Did you know that dating only started 200 years ago? When you date, you know how it goes. You scope out someone who "looks good" and then you want to get to know that person better. But first you think about that person often then you WANT that person. Some of you may even do some pretty crazy and unthinkable things to get that certain prospect. Today allot of times it's the girls hounding the men! Today that may not sound shocking. Before 1925 the men had to work to get the girl, win over her parents and have an impressive dowry to marry her. He would also have to go through a courtship period where they remained abstinent until their honeymoon.

If this dating thing is going so well and it's the be all- end all too finding happiness, and companionship... then why isn't it working? When you date the person of your choice, you get to know them, go out to dinner/ movies, swap saliva.... etc... etc. Then what happens when that person isn't "doing it for you anymore?" Or maybe even you meet someone else (other than the one your dating) and they are either more appealing, they understand you better.... or maybe they are just plain new. Yeah, we all know what's coming.... it's over! Is this really preparing me and you for a satisfying and life- long oneness with... one person?

Actually, it sounds more like a breeding ground for... divorce.

I'm not saying that some of you don't have legitimate reasons to end relationships! Sometimes you are better off not ending up with the one your with. If they are unfaithful, controlling or abusive (verbally, physically etc.), or if you can't agree on the really BIG issues... then please don't stay with them for the sake of staying either. (That's definitely not what I'm trying to say).

Okay, you may be saying... if you can't date than what other option is there?

Waiting and not dating.... is the answer! Haven't you ever heard the saying... the best things is life are free, and good things come to those who... wait? I believe those things are still true, and can be applied to our love lives.

I want you to know I'm not just spouting off here... I'm living it too. It can be done... but only with God's help. I mean I gave up the dating scene and I want God to pick out the one I marry... because I know I'll only make a mess of things. Yes! I know what's good for me... but God knows what's BEST for me.

Guys and gals, our hearts were NOT meant to be torn between two or (who knows) how many people, or shattered or ripped out of us with every heart wrenching "last goodbye." That wouldn't happen if we just trusted the One who created us and knows us better than we know ourselves... even with our love lives. God isn't old- fashioned, or waiting to squish you with his finger when you mess up. No, no, no. No matter if you've never thought about dating yet, or you've been with your whole class... God has a better plan for your future and present.

I thought at first (all indignantly)... "what buisness does God have with my love story?!?" He's the last one we want to oversee our romantic entanglements... but should be the one we go to in the first place. If you think about it. He made you, he knows you... he knows what you like (attracted to), who you'd mesh well or live well with. Ultimately He knows who would make you a good husband or wife. GET THIS...........

He not only knows of them.... He knows them! He knows what they are doing right now, what they are wearing, and if they are thinking about.... YOU, even now! It says in the Bible in Proverbs 31... "she does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life." You might want to re- read that. This woman loved her husband every single day she lived... so even before she met him.

Lets live our lives... especially when we interact with the "opposite sex" in such a way and as if that person (our future spouse)... COULD SEE US.... at all times. Do you think the way you carry yourself, talk to, and act around people you "like" would make the one (you marry one day) feel loved or that it would hurt them? What if the shoe was on the other foot? Reverse this scenario... how would you feel?

I'm sure we've already formulated a list of things we wouldn't like... what some of us would like is to feel like EVEN NOW the man or woman of your dreams would be protecting your heart (with their words and actions), only have eyes for you, and is being faithful to you- starting before you meet... 'till death do you part? Now, that’s what I call romantic!