O.k... this IS a message for girls AND guys. So, guys bear with me at first and keep reading. There is something for you!
Were all in this world and most of us are up- to- date with fashion, appeal, what's the new "in" trend... yes girls, we are talking about clothes.
I don't know about you... but I'm a girl and I love to shop! I am a Christian and yes I CAN still have fun and go to the mall with my sisters and friends. When I shop I keep an eye out for bright colours, neat fabrics, and I try everything on to make sure it looks good on me before I purchase it. Remember I said what LOOKS good.
Only a couple years ago what I thought looked fashionable, attractive and trendy came from everything I gobbled up and believed; what society and my peers told me. I have to confess, I had some intentions of my own, too.
Let's face it.. as girls we all wants to be cherished and adored, and we want to be loved by a man/ boy one day. We get to the age where we are more aware of the opposite sex. We want to feel beautiful, we want boys to take notice of us, and .... and ultimately to be loved (romantically). Whether it's one boys attention you want or many boys.
I bought into that lie... that you have to have the sexy- pout (which actually looks pretty scary... I never really mastered that...lol), the strut (girls you know what I mean), and a look with a hook. That you can reel in a guy... with one flirtacious look with your pretty peepers (eyes). But most importantly..... SEX APPEAL. Right ladies?!!?
Let's not be naive here! Most of us know guys are visual. They do some pretty stupid things around a pretty girl. They practically drool over her! We think we can get a guy ONLY if we appeal to what THEY want. Let's face it... they usually want one thing.
Society plays into that and says if you've got it flaunt it, make him- want YOU, turn his head... ec... ec. In others words, the less you wear: the better! One example of this is on the movie "Clueless" (pretty popular in my day). The main character "Cher" ... sends herself love notes. chocoaltes, and wears a skimpy dress... declaring, "then the guy will see your skin and think of ... sex". Us girls have been told to model these kind of women to hook a guy. Just look at Covergirl to Victoria's Secret.Yea, you'll get a guy this way!! But is it the kind you want to keep? Never mind what guys want... what DO YOU want???
The expression you wear your heart on your sleeve is still true. We wear things that communicate who we are... and what were about. Unfourtunately people don't need to get to know us to make judgements about us. They believe what you see is what you get.
When you or I dress sleazy... people think were easy. BUT it goes deeper than that. They see you don't value/ respect yourself, and your often a target... not of the love your seeking. An object of LUST and HATE. Guys don't want to love and protect a girl like that they just want to have her for a brief time- until.... yea! That's what those girls are selling... society is not preparing us to be good wives and mothers... but to be good "hookers". - As Lisa Brevere says. No respectable guys keeps and marries a hooker... common, Pretty Woman is JUST a movie. Just ask a guy!!
Ok... Ok. Not all guys are after our bodies. I have refreshing news!! I spoke to some Christian young men a few years back.... and I asked him what they were looking for "in the girl of their dreams." They really said, "a girl that I can talk to. That I can be- friend and be myself with". I also heard a song written by a young man that said... "I want a girl who will stand up for what she believes... want a girl that will tell me just what she thinks.... she doesn't care about herself, just everybody else." BOYS are not bad... YES! there are some worth waiting for and would be good- quality family men out there. I've seen some breathing and in action- on fire for God. Sorry, I won't give out any names or numbers though... he he.
If YOU WANT a man who will love you for you (on the inside)... then give them a chance to see past your make- up, puckered lips... and skin!!
MODESTY- IS THE BEST POLICY. In the dictionary modesty means: observing the proprieties of dress and behaviour. SEE dress is linked to behaviour.
- I realized modesty isn't dressing like your grandma, or a old school marm... you can still dress in style, but cover up. Layers are good. If you really look there are alot of options out there (I'm talking about at our local mall). Longer flowy skirts, there are the new long knee- length shorts (praise the Lord)cover- ups for baithing suits ec.
- THE REST IS UP TO YOU. You know what you are doing when you put something on in the morning to wear throughout the day. It wasn't by accident!! If you feel suductive and sexy... it's probably NOT modest. Right?? I don't want to give you a bunch of rules... but instead you seek the Lord on what is pleasing to HIM in how your present your- self. Remember... you are not your own anymore. You were bought with a price... by the blood of Christ. (That demonstrates how much value you have right there, so don't cheapen yourself!) 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20.. " Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have recieved from God. You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honour God with your body."
"If this is love than you can take it... if this is not- then don't you fake it!
My body is the Lord's temple... don't mess with me.... GOD'S property!" - a song by "Triniti"
**The right guy will stick around even if you say "No!"... If your searching for love- it is only Jesus who can love you like you need to be loved. Don't let those "no body's" get in closer than they need to. When you give in (some of you know what I mean) you'll feel emptier than you were before (you'll still be lonely)... but GOD's love goes on and on and on.
** Little girl with hopes and big dreams. Don't get swayed by those sex fiends. I understand that you want a man- but a REAL man will help you stand. - by RAZE
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
I'm Waiting, Not Dating
By: Kristin McLeod
To some of you reading this I may sound archaic and extremely old fashioned. I want you to know and consider that I grew up in the same generation as you. I am in my twenties and have even tried the dating scene once. So, I know what it’s like to date and then to wait (not date), and I believe, from experience that I have chosen the better way, and so can you.
I've heard it said before that love songs today are sung with musician’s lips- but not with real human lives. Today pre- teens, teenagers, and young adults are bombarded with messages telling them they are not okay unless they have that special someone in their lives. It's everywhere... it's on commercials, the internet ("meets singles here"), and sometimes even our own parents and friends feed us this analogy. But look where it's gotten our generation... divorce is rampant.
Actually when most people hear the word marriage, it's like a dirty word. Most of society would prefer common- law or living together than being committed to a lifelong soul mate.
Do you ever wonder why?
I believe it started with dating. Did you know that dating only started 200 years ago? When you date, you know how it goes. You scope out someone who "looks good" and then you want to get to know that person better. But first you think about that person often then you WANT that person. Some of you may even do some pretty crazy and unthinkable things to get that certain prospect. Today allot of times it's the girls hounding the men! Today that may not sound shocking. Before 1925 the men had to work to get the girl, win over her parents and have an impressive dowry to marry her. He would also have to go through a courtship period where they remained abstinent until their honeymoon.
If this dating thing is going so well and it's the be all- end all too finding happiness, and companionship... then why isn't it working? When you date the person of your choice, you get to know them, go out to dinner/ movies, swap saliva.... etc... etc. Then what happens when that person isn't "doing it for you anymore?" Or maybe even you meet someone else (other than the one your dating) and they are either more appealing, they understand you better.... or maybe they are just plain new. Yeah, we all know what's coming.... it's over! Is this really preparing me and you for a satisfying and life- long oneness with... one person?
Actually, it sounds more like a breeding ground for... divorce.
I'm not saying that some of you don't have legitimate reasons to end relationships! Sometimes you are better off not ending up with the one your with. If they are unfaithful, controlling or abusive (verbally, physically etc.), or if you can't agree on the really BIG issues... then please don't stay with them for the sake of staying either. (That's definitely not what I'm trying to say).
Okay, you may be saying... if you can't date than what other option is there?
Waiting and not dating.... is the answer! Haven't you ever heard the saying... the best things is life are free, and good things come to those who... wait? I believe those things are still true, and can be applied to our love lives.
I want you to know I'm not just spouting off here... I'm living it too. It can be done... but only with God's help. I mean I gave up the dating scene and I want God to pick out the one I marry... because I know I'll only make a mess of things. Yes! I know what's good for me... but God knows what's BEST for me.
Guys and gals, our hearts were NOT meant to be torn between two or (who knows) how many people, or shattered or ripped out of us with every heart wrenching "last goodbye." That wouldn't happen if we just trusted the One who created us and knows us better than we know ourselves... even with our love lives. God isn't old- fashioned, or waiting to squish you with his finger when you mess up. No, no, no. No matter if you've never thought about dating yet, or you've been with your whole class... God has a better plan for your future and present.
I thought at first (all indignantly)... "what buisness does God have with my love story?!?" He's the last one we want to oversee our romantic entanglements... but should be the one we go to in the first place. If you think about it. He made you, he knows you... he knows what you like (attracted to), who you'd mesh well or live well with. Ultimately He knows who would make you a good husband or wife. GET THIS...........
He not only knows of them.... He knows them! He knows what they are doing right now, what they are wearing, and if they are thinking about.... YOU, even now! It says in the Bible in Proverbs 31... "she does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life." You might want to re- read that. This woman loved her husband every single day she lived... so even before she met him.
Lets live our lives... especially when we interact with the "opposite sex" in such a way and as if that person (our future spouse)... COULD SEE US.... at all times. Do you think the way you carry yourself, talk to, and act around people you "like" would make the one (you marry one day) feel loved or that it would hurt them? What if the shoe was on the other foot? Reverse this scenario... how would you feel?
I'm sure we've already formulated a list of things we wouldn't like... what some of us would like is to feel like EVEN NOW the man or woman of your dreams would be protecting your heart (with their words and actions), only have eyes for you, and is being faithful to you- starting before you meet... 'till death do you part? Now, that’s what I call romantic!
To some of you reading this I may sound archaic and extremely old fashioned. I want you to know and consider that I grew up in the same generation as you. I am in my twenties and have even tried the dating scene once. So, I know what it’s like to date and then to wait (not date), and I believe, from experience that I have chosen the better way, and so can you.
I've heard it said before that love songs today are sung with musician’s lips- but not with real human lives. Today pre- teens, teenagers, and young adults are bombarded with messages telling them they are not okay unless they have that special someone in their lives. It's everywhere... it's on commercials, the internet ("meets singles here"), and sometimes even our own parents and friends feed us this analogy. But look where it's gotten our generation... divorce is rampant.
Actually when most people hear the word marriage, it's like a dirty word. Most of society would prefer common- law or living together than being committed to a lifelong soul mate.
Do you ever wonder why?
I believe it started with dating. Did you know that dating only started 200 years ago? When you date, you know how it goes. You scope out someone who "looks good" and then you want to get to know that person better. But first you think about that person often then you WANT that person. Some of you may even do some pretty crazy and unthinkable things to get that certain prospect. Today allot of times it's the girls hounding the men! Today that may not sound shocking. Before 1925 the men had to work to get the girl, win over her parents and have an impressive dowry to marry her. He would also have to go through a courtship period where they remained abstinent until their honeymoon.
If this dating thing is going so well and it's the be all- end all too finding happiness, and companionship... then why isn't it working? When you date the person of your choice, you get to know them, go out to dinner/ movies, swap saliva.... etc... etc. Then what happens when that person isn't "doing it for you anymore?" Or maybe even you meet someone else (other than the one your dating) and they are either more appealing, they understand you better.... or maybe they are just plain new. Yeah, we all know what's coming.... it's over! Is this really preparing me and you for a satisfying and life- long oneness with... one person?
Actually, it sounds more like a breeding ground for... divorce.
I'm not saying that some of you don't have legitimate reasons to end relationships! Sometimes you are better off not ending up with the one your with. If they are unfaithful, controlling or abusive (verbally, physically etc.), or if you can't agree on the really BIG issues... then please don't stay with them for the sake of staying either. (That's definitely not what I'm trying to say).
Okay, you may be saying... if you can't date than what other option is there?
Waiting and not dating.... is the answer! Haven't you ever heard the saying... the best things is life are free, and good things come to those who... wait? I believe those things are still true, and can be applied to our love lives.
I want you to know I'm not just spouting off here... I'm living it too. It can be done... but only with God's help. I mean I gave up the dating scene and I want God to pick out the one I marry... because I know I'll only make a mess of things. Yes! I know what's good for me... but God knows what's BEST for me.
Guys and gals, our hearts were NOT meant to be torn between two or (who knows) how many people, or shattered or ripped out of us with every heart wrenching "last goodbye." That wouldn't happen if we just trusted the One who created us and knows us better than we know ourselves... even with our love lives. God isn't old- fashioned, or waiting to squish you with his finger when you mess up. No, no, no. No matter if you've never thought about dating yet, or you've been with your whole class... God has a better plan for your future and present.
I thought at first (all indignantly)... "what buisness does God have with my love story?!?" He's the last one we want to oversee our romantic entanglements... but should be the one we go to in the first place. If you think about it. He made you, he knows you... he knows what you like (attracted to), who you'd mesh well or live well with. Ultimately He knows who would make you a good husband or wife. GET THIS...........
He not only knows of them.... He knows them! He knows what they are doing right now, what they are wearing, and if they are thinking about.... YOU, even now! It says in the Bible in Proverbs 31... "she does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life." You might want to re- read that. This woman loved her husband every single day she lived... so even before she met him.
Lets live our lives... especially when we interact with the "opposite sex" in such a way and as if that person (our future spouse)... COULD SEE US.... at all times. Do you think the way you carry yourself, talk to, and act around people you "like" would make the one (you marry one day) feel loved or that it would hurt them? What if the shoe was on the other foot? Reverse this scenario... how would you feel?
I'm sure we've already formulated a list of things we wouldn't like... what some of us would like is to feel like EVEN NOW the man or woman of your dreams would be protecting your heart (with their words and actions), only have eyes for you, and is being faithful to you- starting before you meet... 'till death do you part? Now, that’s what I call romantic!
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